Who is blessed?

"Bella" has been home three weeks today!  Wow, time is flying.  She is doing so well.  The little stinker is growing like crazy.  She is getting much chubbier!  Family sent us some 0-3 month clothes that she can't wear anymore.  Her cheeks and thighs are much fuller than when we brought her home.  Makes a momma happy!

The first few days we were showered with congratulations, we're-so-happy-for-you messages.  It was wonderful.  We felt so loved.  Some people said, "she is so blessed (or lucky) to have you two as parents."  I don't know people, I'm the one feeling incredibly blessed these days.  I  have a beautiful BABY girl in my home.  She turned six months old in our care.  We are a happy family of three.  And despite all the setbacks with our adoption process, it's June and we have a baby!  I just can't stop thanking Jesus for this incredible gift. 

You are called by what name?

I’ve heard it said that adopted children often have three names.  One is an unknown name that their birth parents gave them.  I suppose if a child is abandoned shortly after birth, it’s possible this name was never given.  In China, it is illegal to abandon your baby.  So babies are left with no identification…no name, no birth date.  So, a second name is given by the orphanage.  Then children who are adopted join a new family and are given a new name, the third name.

In all of this, I am thankful that no matter what name a child is given here on earth, they are known and named by God.  The Lord says to all of His children, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!”  (Isaiah 43:1)

Our little girl likely spent about two months with her parents before she was abandoned.  She likely had a name given by them.  The orphanage then gave her a name, and we first knew her by that name.  Now in our home, we have given her a family name and when she is fully adopted she will be a Fertig. 

So, I asked for some suggestions for a name for her for our blog.  To protect her identity I will not be using her real name until she is legally ours.  So for our blog, I want a cute little name with meaning.  Here are all the suggestions I got:

Mei Mei –means “little sister” in Chinese, and we are thinking she will be the little sister in our family
Sweet pea—something I call her often
Lovey
Sugar Sugar
China Doll
Le Le—means “happiness” in Chinese…she does bring so much happiness to our home

Grace—truly it is only by God’s grace that she is here.  It is only His grace that she is ours.

Melody

Jewel—actually part of the name the orphanage gave her means “the tinkling of gems”

Eliza/Liza—means “consecrated to God,” and we pray she will be

I love all of your suggestions, but one night it came to me.  For this blog, she will be “Bella”.  She truly is beautiful and it has a small connection to the family name we’ve given her.

Happy First Father's Day!

Daddy and his girl

My husband is an amazing dad.  I knew he would be, but seeing it this past week or so has filled my heart with such joy.  It causes me to love and respect and appreciate him all the more.  He's done diapers, bedtimes, baths, bottles, laundry, dishes...sometimes with me and sometimes without me.  He lights up at her smile.  And she...well, she can't get enough of her daddy.  She laughs at him and with him.  She looks at him, even when he's not looking at her yet, just waiting for his glance and his smile.  She is content in his arms and growing confident in his provision.  I'd say they're both smitten.  :)

Feet!

This is our little family of three. 

After one week with little girl in our home, (I still don't have a good name for her for this blog, help me out friends!) we are all doing really well.  She's been sleeping through the night since we got her.  She's adjusted to her new formula and eats really well.  She had a couple of fussy nights at bedtime the past two nights, but tonight she went to sleep without any crying.  She smiles all the time.  She's exploring her new world and we think she likes it!  She's rolling over.  Today she flipped from her back to her tummy five times.  We didn't see her do that once in the orphanage. 

So, we're slowly adjusting to being parents and we think she's loving having a mommy and a daddy.  We are all so blessed.

This little hand...

is melting our hearts.

P.S.  I am not intentionally teasing you with this picture.  Legally, we cannot share her identity publicly until she is adopted.  Right now, because we are fostering her, she is still a ward of the government.  So these are the only kinds of photos we are able to share.  

ALL Smiles...

-by Mark

Today, there were giggles, squeals, laughter and a lot of smiles in the Fertig home.  We are blessed beyond measure to have this child with us, in our family.  We are blessed to have so many around us and with us supporting this endeavor.  We have been strengthened by God’s hand to endure hardship in the last 10 years.  And I have found a new appreciation for wet-wipes.  

These last few weeks have been difficult for so many reasons.  There was a point where I literally wanted to give up.  Erika, in her infinite wisdom handed our daughter to me and just let me hold her and have a moment with her.  It was all I needed to endure.  

We also see the immense blessing we have already been to this little one.  Since we have brought her home, she cannot stand to be alone.  This in stark contrast to the hours of blank staring at the ceiling and walls at the orphanage.  When we first met her, she would not make eye contact with us.  Now, as if to say, “You are mine”, her eyes follow us everywhere and when we look into those dark, penetrating doorways to her heart, she smiles.  Not just a simple grin.  A wide, toothless, slobbery, open mouthed smile with a coo at the end if she’s extra happy.  The three of us had an amazingly delightful time on our bed this afternoon.  Cuddling, laughing and her shrieks of delight resonating throughout the house.  She had us in the palm of her hand.  

God is good.  Even when we don’t understand.  Even when we don’t see His hand.  Even when everything falls apart.  He is still good.  Rejoice with us now as we see His goodness to us in our cherished little girl.  Rejoice with us in His timing.  But long with us too as we still await our second, unknown daughter… who even now probably still sits somewhere in a room with eight other crying babies, waiting for forever families to call them “mine”.

We are thankful for your prayers and content in His provision.

Baby School Graduation

Tomorrow we hope to pass the test and graduate from “Baby School”.  We were talking this evening about how we’ve never had a test with such immediate and important results.  Tomorrow evening we will either be really happy and thankful that finally there are three in our home and in our family, or we will be really disappointed because we still haven’t met the director’s standards and we need to keep trying in order to pass.  I just keep reminding myself that she wants us to succeed.  She doesn’t want her first foreign family to fail at fostering.  She wants us to be an example for those who are to follow.  We appreciate your prayers for us Thursday (or Wednesday night for those in America.)

So, here’s a little of what we’ve learned these past ten days or so:

·         A bit about her different cries…when she’s mad, when she’s hungry, when she’s tired.

·         That she likes to hold our finger when she’s drinking her bottle.

·         That she likes to bend and suck her left index finger while popping her pinky to comfort herself.

·         That she’s ticklish, and has the cutest laugh.

·         That she likes to cuddle.

·         That no matter how great an orphanage is or how loving the workers are, it’s still not the place God intended for children to be raised.

What It Costs

Mark has told me recently that it seems we are taking one of the most difficult routes possible to bringing children into our home.  We don’t understand why we are on this road, but we’re here.  In his sermon (click here for an hour well spent), John Piper explains why adoption so clearly displays the gospel.  One of the points he makes is that adoption was for God and is for us, very costly.  Not just financially, but in so many other ways. 

This week I’m experiencing this cost.  I am emotionally and physically spent every day as I walk out of that orphanage.  I want our adoption story to exude the fragrance of Christ.  The contrast of our story in going to great lengths to give children a loving home is a huge juxtaposition to a culture where children are thrown to the side of the road because of a simple hole in their heart, a split lip or their gender.  I want Jesus’ love flowing through me and out of me each and every day.  However, the last few days, my fragrance of Christ has been more like a poopy diaper than a sweet aroma.  I’m so selfish.  I think “oh woe is me!  This is so tiring, so draining.  People should feel sorry for me.”  But that attitude is self-centered, not God-centered. 

So tonight, I’m reminding myself of the truths of God through Piper’s words.  No matter how much I’m giving of myself right now, I still haven’t shed my blood (other than for a few blood tests).  But my Savior has.  He shed His blood for me.  No matter how much trouble and how much it costs, it still hasn’t cost me my life.  Jesus shed His blood and gave His life so that I could become the Father’s daughter.  Surely, I can endure an exhausting week.