Summer Travels

This past weekend we went to northern Ohio to see Mark's extended family.  It was really fun to introduce Emma to all of them and to play by Lake Erie.

Emma's MRI results

Thanks for your patience this week as you’ve waited for us to tell all of you about her results.  We know you’ve been praying and we are so grateful.   

We didn’t get to talk with anyone about it until Tuesday afternoon and we still haven’t talked with the neurosurgeon himself.  However what we’ve been told is that she will need surgery.  She has three tethering regions in her spine.  They said it is complex and may even require more than one surgery.  However, surgery is not an urgent need and she has no restrictions on activity or anything like that.  (She was running and climbing like crazy at the park this evening!)  Because we are moving to Florida mid August, the specialists here are trying to help refer us to doctors down there.  So we have no idea yet what surgery will entail or when it will be scheduled. We sure appreciate continued prayers.

In other news…Elsie’s Gotcha Day will be September 2^nd! 

Emma Loves to Sing

Elsie's TA and Emma's MRI

Big things seem to happen all at once for us lately.  Yesterday as we were traveling from a full week in  Indiana back to Ohio we got TA for Elsie!  We did not expect it to come so soon, and we are thankful for sure, but we’re going to need to wait until September 1^st or so to go get her.  There are a plethora of reasons why this will be better for our family, but ultimately we are dependent on Emma’s passport paperwork, which we just don’t have yet. 

Emma did great today for her MRI.  She couldn’t eat all morning and only complained about it once.  She woke up woozy and cranky but gobbled up some Cheerios.  When we got her home she was walking around all tipsy like she was drunk, but that really only lasted about 40 minutes or so.  She acted fine this evening.  The doctor is supposed to call with results either tomorrow or Monday. 

Emma's first Fourth of July

We dressed her in red, white, and blue...of course!

 

 

We let her hold sparklers!

And the next day, we did more sparklers!

Bonding with Mark (by Mark)

Many of you have been asking how I’ve been doing, how Emma and I have been bonding.  The short answer is, “Better everyday”.  But I find that hides some of the hard part of where I’m at.  When Bella left us she had been our first child, had been very dear to us, to me, and I really just enjoyed her.  Sure it was hard at times, as it is with all children, but there were such sweet moments and she had no fear in cuddling, no sense of displeasure in being tickled or snuggled and regularly fell asleep in my arms.  With my personality I also very much love to play with kids… my kids especially.  Bella loved this.  Loved my beat-boxing, being chased around, tossed up in the air and read to.  All this to say, we were bonded.  Emma is very different. 

I know I can’t expect her to be the same with me.  I know it will take time.  But it’s really hard.  It’s hard when she’s upset and only wants mommy.  It’s hard when she’s afraid and I can’t comfort her.  She is getting better, but the first name, the first person she wants is Mommy.  There are times when I just want to give up, to have a pity party and go do something productive.  But I know that it is only my presence that will help her get used to me, only seeing me in action, interacting with Mommy and others that will teach her to trust me, to love me.  There was a morning soon after we finalized Emma’s adoption where in the early hours as my mind was quieted and just starting to think of the day that I felt strongly the Lord speaking with me.  The impression with which He left me was “It is those relationships that are the hardest to forge that delve the deepest and are set the strongest”.  What that meant to me was that the time and effort to win the trust of this three-year-old would not only be worth it, but would one day yield a special bond. 

This also got me to thinking about my relationship with the Heavenly Father.  Oh the patient and constant love of God.  That He would endure my wandering heart which seeks comfort in so many other things of this world, yet not the Comforter.  If only I would trust.  He’s done everything to show His character as loving, good and kind.  Still, my heart is prone to wander, set to trust in other things that are not even trustworthy.  To Emma I might say, “I am waiting, I am loving, I just want to be with you, to play with you.  You don’t need to impress me, serve me or be anything other than yourself to me.  I love you and just want to hold you on my lap, cuddle you for a few quiet moments, have your arms embrace my neck and know you trust me and want to be in that moment.”  To myself, I might remind me that the Father waits no less, loves no less, desires my presence no less.  I don’t have to “do” to impress Him.  He requires no gift or service.  I just need to “be” with Him.  Embrace Him.  Love Him.  He does not need me and yet He grieves my absence and distance as I grieve Emma’s. 

Day by day she’s learning to trust me.  She just kisses my forehead now… I think because of the whiskers.  She’ll let me hold her and toss her in the air, but only if she’s in a good mood.  She’ll accept my comforting arms if Mommy is not in the room, but still asks for Erika.  And lately, if she’s just sleepy enough, she’ll roll over in bed as I sing to her, and bury her head in my chest.