What do you do with unanswered prayers?

Thoughts by Mark...

In the past few years, I have personally struggled with prayer.  I find that many of my heart-felt, God honoring prayers have not been answered.  This journey brought me ultimately to the question, “Do my prayers matter?”  and also, “What is God’s purpose in prayer?” 

In other words, if God is sovereign (and He is)... And He is going to do what He wants, do my prayers really matter?  As a hypothetical example, two men both who know Jesus, both full of faith, both stricken with cancer.  Both pray in earnest, and yet, one man is healed, one man passes away.  We all know instances of amazing answered prayer, and we all also know of unanswered prayer.  I have a lot of questions…What is the purpose of prayer?  Is it to be answered?  What about when He doesn't answer our prayers specifically?  Why pray if my prayers won’t change His mind?  Do I not have enough faith?

Along this journey there have been a few Spirit prompted nuggets of truth in regards to prayer…  Firstly, unanswered prayer, is actually an answer.  “No” is an answer.  “Wait” is an answer.  My self-centered attitude for positive answers NOW was not helping my cause.

Secondly, I've found that sometimes to answer one of my prayers with a yes, He needs to say no to other prayers.  Garth Brooks summed this up with a line from one of his songs, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers..."  I’ve wondered recently if my deepest prayer for “God to do whatever You need to in order that I might walk with You for a lifetime” might have been the impetus for Him allowing some of my life’s greatest sufferings.  It is because of this suffering that I have truly walked deeply with Him in such times. 

Thirdly, what if the purpose of prayer wasn't to make me happy or to give me what I want?  What if it is more about connecting with God and His will and His plan?  What if it is for me to be conformed and submitted to Him?  Jesus in Gethsemane prayed fervently for two things... For the cup to be taken away and later, that the Father's will be done.  His first prayer wasn’t answered, the second was.  Jesus wasn’t being selfish or faithless with the first prayer, but ultimately He recognized that the Father’s will was greater and ultimately would lead to salvation for so many. 

I prayed fervently that Bella would remain ours.  That she would find a permanent home in our loving family.  I prayed for a miracle in her paperwork.  Many of you did likewise.  Ultimately, the Father has chosen a better path.  I cannot fully see that now, but I can fully trust it.  And though my prayers for this were not answered, I can say without hesitation that it has conformed me to His will and has allowed me to connect with Him in heart-wrenching, deep, deep ways.  I still don’t know why God answers some prayers and not others.  But I do know that through my prayers, connection and conformation occur.  I guess at the end of the day, that really is my desire.  Not that He would give me everything I want, but that He would be everything I want.

The wind is picking up

At the end of February we told you Bella was matched.  Now we know they are coming.  Bella’s forever family, the ones who will shepherd her as she continues to grow.  Our chapter in her life is about to come to a close.  Theirs is just beginning.  Through this beautiful little girl that God has chosen, first for us to care for and now for them, our two families will be forever linked.  Choosing to love means giving of yourself, your heart to another.  Bella has had our hearts since the day we set eyes on her.  And that does not change just because she’s moving into another family’s home.  She will always have our love, a special fondness, as our first daughter, as our first baby girl. 

This is not to say that Emma and Elsie will have less of our hearts.  Love is an interesting thing in that you can completely give yourself, your heart to many people and it doesn’t lessen the love.  I think it even strengthens it.  I don’t love my husband any less now that I also have children to love.  We have learned so much as we have loved Bella.  Lessons we hope will make us even better parents to Emma and Elsie. 

So, the whirlwind is about to begin.  In May, we will say goodbye to Bella, pick up Emma and transition back to America.  Oh Jesus, be my Rock and my Refuge in these days to come.

No words necessary

More New News...

Erika, Emma and I are excited to announce that we have accepted the referral of a second little girl.  This is not April fools, we have not mistakenly counted Emma twice and no, we are not part of a daytime soap wherein we have more drama than we can handle. 

Let me recap for those who are just joining the show...  Bella is the baby we started fostering with the intention of adopting but were denied by the government.  Emma is the waiting child that we are matched with in late February that just turned three and is in an orphanage close to Beijing.  We hope to bring her home with us in early to mid May.  Now, on to our last little one. 

I present to you …

Elsie Grace Fertig

She is the second little girl we have been matched with for adoption.  We started this journey wanting two and now our prayers have been answered. 

Elsie just turned two and resides in an orphanage in central China.  She has some minor developmental delays and a repaired cleft lip.  She also has a cleft palate, but we are unsure of the extent of it or if it has been repaired.  She is super active and her lip is healing wonderfully.  We hope to return to China to pick her up some time this summer.  

Happy Birthday, Emma

Sweet Emma,

Today is your third birthday.  It is the last birthday you will spend without knowing that you have a mommy and a daddy and a whole family that love you dearly.  We already love you even though we haven’t met you yet.  I pray that today somehow you know how dearly loved you are.  We are celebrating you.  I made you a birthday cake.  I have been thinking of you and praying for you throughout this day, and every day.  I can’t wait until we can be together and begin our lives together.  I want you to know the Father’s unconditional love as your dad and I love you.  I want you to know the embrace of those who will always be there for you.  I want you to know that you are not simply another child in your orphanage, you are our child.  You have been chosen.  You are special and precious. 

Love,

Your Mommy

Pray for Emma's Paperwork!

Plan A:  Mark and I travel back to America early May and then fly back to China to get Emma when the paperwork is all finalized.

Well, the first approval (LOA) came rather quickly.  And, a friend told us about how to ask for the expediting of some other approvals.  In all we need three approvals from the US government...USCIS, NVC, and then Article 5.  Then our paperwork is submitted to the Chinese government and we get TA, travel approval.  Plan A seemed costly and unnecessary if we were just to come back a few weeks later.  So, now we move on to:

Plan B:  Get all the approvals for Emma, hopefully each one expedited, and pick her up and adopt her.  Then travel back to America as a family of three! 

We are hoping and praying that Plan B can be accomplished by mid-May.  Please pray with us!

Happy Easter!

The weather was great today, so we got outside for an egg hunt with the neighborhood kids. This is before it began.

The little sprout ponytail just makes me smile!

It was a wonderful day celebrating with our friends who are just as close as family.  He is risen and therefore, we have much to be hopeful about.