ALL Smiles...

-by Mark

Today, there were giggles, squeals, laughter and a lot of smiles in the Fertig home.  We are blessed beyond measure to have this child with us, in our family.  We are blessed to have so many around us and with us supporting this endeavor.  We have been strengthened by God’s hand to endure hardship in the last 10 years.  And I have found a new appreciation for wet-wipes.  

These last few weeks have been difficult for so many reasons.  There was a point where I literally wanted to give up.  Erika, in her infinite wisdom handed our daughter to me and just let me hold her and have a moment with her.  It was all I needed to endure.  

We also see the immense blessing we have already been to this little one.  Since we have brought her home, she cannot stand to be alone.  This in stark contrast to the hours of blank staring at the ceiling and walls at the orphanage.  When we first met her, she would not make eye contact with us.  Now, as if to say, “You are mine”, her eyes follow us everywhere and when we look into those dark, penetrating doorways to her heart, she smiles.  Not just a simple grin.  A wide, toothless, slobbery, open mouthed smile with a coo at the end if she’s extra happy.  The three of us had an amazingly delightful time on our bed this afternoon.  Cuddling, laughing and her shrieks of delight resonating throughout the house.  She had us in the palm of her hand.  

God is good.  Even when we don’t understand.  Even when we don’t see His hand.  Even when everything falls apart.  He is still good.  Rejoice with us now as we see His goodness to us in our cherished little girl.  Rejoice with us in His timing.  But long with us too as we still await our second, unknown daughter… who even now probably still sits somewhere in a room with eight other crying babies, waiting for forever families to call them “mine”.

We are thankful for your prayers and content in His provision.

Baby School Graduation

Tomorrow we hope to pass the test and graduate from “Baby School”.  We were talking this evening about how we’ve never had a test with such immediate and important results.  Tomorrow evening we will either be really happy and thankful that finally there are three in our home and in our family, or we will be really disappointed because we still haven’t met the director’s standards and we need to keep trying in order to pass.  I just keep reminding myself that she wants us to succeed.  She doesn’t want her first foreign family to fail at fostering.  She wants us to be an example for those who are to follow.  We appreciate your prayers for us Thursday (or Wednesday night for those in America.)

So, here’s a little of what we’ve learned these past ten days or so:

·         A bit about her different cries…when she’s mad, when she’s hungry, when she’s tired.

·         That she likes to hold our finger when she’s drinking her bottle.

·         That she likes to bend and suck her left index finger while popping her pinky to comfort herself.

·         That she’s ticklish, and has the cutest laugh.

·         That she likes to cuddle.

·         That no matter how great an orphanage is or how loving the workers are, it’s still not the place God intended for children to be raised.

What It Costs

Mark has told me recently that it seems we are taking one of the most difficult routes possible to bringing children into our home.  We don’t understand why we are on this road, but we’re here.  In his sermon (click here for an hour well spent), John Piper explains why adoption so clearly displays the gospel.  One of the points he makes is that adoption was for God and is for us, very costly.  Not just financially, but in so many other ways. 

This week I’m experiencing this cost.  I am emotionally and physically spent every day as I walk out of that orphanage.  I want our adoption story to exude the fragrance of Christ.  The contrast of our story in going to great lengths to give children a loving home is a huge juxtaposition to a culture where children are thrown to the side of the road because of a simple hole in their heart, a split lip or their gender.  I want Jesus’ love flowing through me and out of me each and every day.  However, the last few days, my fragrance of Christ has been more like a poopy diaper than a sweet aroma.  I’m so selfish.  I think “oh woe is me!  This is so tiring, so draining.  People should feel sorry for me.”  But that attitude is self-centered, not God-centered. 

So tonight, I’m reminding myself of the truths of God through Piper’s words.  No matter how much I’m giving of myself right now, I still haven’t shed my blood (other than for a few blood tests).  But my Savior has.  He shed His blood for me.  No matter how much trouble and how much it costs, it still hasn’t cost me my life.  Jesus shed His blood and gave His life so that I could become the Father’s daughter.  Surely, I can endure an exhausting week.

"Baby School" Tidbits

• We absolutely love being with our little girl everyday and getting to know her and loving on her.  She is so easy to love.  She’s beautiful and smiley and just so, SO precious to us.  We cannot wait to get her out of the orphanage and bring her home. 

• On Thursday we will be given the test to see how well we care for her and have a second home inspection.  If we pass both of these we can bring her home.  They care about these kids a lot and they have high standards for us.  So what seems to be a cake walk really isn’t.  Please pray.

•  The room we're in has seven babies under two, all with a variety of special needs.  There is one nurse.  We're helping out with other kids a lot and we're coming home exhausted every day. 

• Almost all of these other kids are sick.  They have colds, one has a fever.  PLEASE pray that our little one does not get sick.  She has a slight cough now, pray it does not get worse.  If it does there's a chance we won't be able to bring her home Thursday. 

We'll write more as we can...there's so much we could share.  We're working on coming up with a creative name for our little girl for our blog.  Legally, we won't be able to share pictures with you until she's adopted.