We don't understand, but we trust

(posted by Mark)

Dearest and loving friends,  Erika and I have been so thankful for your love, support and prayers these last few days.  We wish that we could bring better news, and though our hearts are heavy, we know we’ve done everything we could to make Bella a part of our family.  On Monday, we found out that Bella will not be allowed to be adopted by us.  She will be adopted by another family.  Erika and I are struggling to understand and to trust that the Lord has our best in mind.  We know He is good, but it’s so hard to experience right now.

We have many questions, but what we know is that she was declared a healthy child and will be put on a separate list.  We are only qualified to adopt a "waiting child"... Or a child with minor special needs.  When Bella came to us, she had a heart problem, was underweight, possibly had Hepatitis B and other minor things.  As we cared for her, she was healed of most of these issues... And became healthy and therefore not adoptable by us.  She will be matched with a family within the week, and we will have her for at least two but more likely about four more months.  All our options have played out... The director was super kind, Lily was very helpful.  Everything was done that could have been done.  We plan to honor our love and commitment to her and keep her with us until she joins her new family.  Pray for our hearts to be strengthened, our eyes to be opened to His love and character and for perspective as we grieve.

We welcome your continued prayers, comments and the Bible passages that the Lord lays on your heart for us.  We weep daily in our grief, rejoice in Him, as our strength is renewed, and look in hope to the future that He will unfold for us.  We are thankful for the time we’ve had and will have with Bella.  She’s so beautiful.  She’s so very special.  We rejoice that she has been healed of so many things.  God is doing an AMAZING work in her.  We rejoice at the outpouring of support and love for us, it has helped buoy us in so many difficult moments.  We rejoice that this is not the end of her or our story.  We rejoice that we were able to be a part of her story, to be a mother and father to her, to help her KNOW that she is loved and wanted and not abandoned, not alone, not lost.  She has been cherished since the day we first met her and I know will be in our hearts forever.

Please continue to pray:

-That her home would be a loving one, that we might even be able to know a little about who they are.  We are praying that they know Christ and will raise her to know Him, pray for this.

-That we would be renewed by Him, supported by Him, close to Him.  We struggle hourly in our grief.

-That we would wait on Him to continue to reveal our story… we are still in the process to adopt two children… and in the midst of this difficult time, we have to make some timely decisions to move forward. 

We love you all and are thankful for you beyond words.