The dress

Years ago.  I can’t remember exactly which year, but before all the adoption paperwork started.  Before the heartbreaking failure of months and months of infertility treatments.  The two of us, with hopes and dreams and the excitement of the hope of little ones in our future, went shopping.  It was our anniversary and Mark said, “I want to do something that will bless you.”  (I love to shop, but he is a buyer, not a shopper.)  We went shopping for little girls clothes. 

At this time we were living in the middle of nowhere in East Asia and fashion there was not the same as what we can find in America.  So this was really a day of hunting for something remotely normal.  He would hold up a sweater and say, “this isn’t so bad.”  “Well, no, if this teddy bear with the lacy skirt wasn’t front and center, it would be okay,” I replied.  “What about this dress?”  “Um, no.  Maybe that mouse is supposed to resemble Mickey, but it’s just not cute.”  And so on the day went for a few hours.  I was attempting to educate Mark as to what makes little girls clothes cute and acceptable to me.  He was extremely patient and we had lots of laughs.

Finally in the last store, we found something.  A simple sleeveless t-shirt dress with a flower pattern.  And we hung on to it for years…the dress and our hopes of the little girl who would fit into it. 

It’s her favorite dress.  

Do little girls you know have this kind of dress?   The if-it’s-clean-I’m-going-to-wear-it kind of dress?  She would wear it every day if she could.  When she puts it on she twirls. 

And my heart swells with joy inexplicable.