What do you do with unanswered prayers?

Thoughts by Mark...

In the past few years, I have personally struggled with prayer.  I find that many of my heart-felt, God honoring prayers have not been answered.  This journey brought me ultimately to the question, “Do my prayers matter?”  and also, “What is God’s purpose in prayer?” 

In other words, if God is sovereign (and He is)... And He is going to do what He wants, do my prayers really matter?  As a hypothetical example, two men both who know Jesus, both full of faith, both stricken with cancer.  Both pray in earnest, and yet, one man is healed, one man passes away.  We all know instances of amazing answered prayer, and we all also know of unanswered prayer.  I have a lot of questions…What is the purpose of prayer?  Is it to be answered?  What about when He doesn't answer our prayers specifically?  Why pray if my prayers won’t change His mind?  Do I not have enough faith?

Along this journey there have been a few Spirit prompted nuggets of truth in regards to prayer…  Firstly, unanswered prayer, is actually an answer.  “No” is an answer.  “Wait” is an answer.  My self-centered attitude for positive answers NOW was not helping my cause.

Secondly, I've found that sometimes to answer one of my prayers with a yes, He needs to say no to other prayers.  Garth Brooks summed this up with a line from one of his songs, "Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers..."  I’ve wondered recently if my deepest prayer for “God to do whatever You need to in order that I might walk with You for a lifetime” might have been the impetus for Him allowing some of my life’s greatest sufferings.  It is because of this suffering that I have truly walked deeply with Him in such times. 

Thirdly, what if the purpose of prayer wasn't to make me happy or to give me what I want?  What if it is more about connecting with God and His will and His plan?  What if it is for me to be conformed and submitted to Him?  Jesus in Gethsemane prayed fervently for two things... For the cup to be taken away and later, that the Father's will be done.  His first prayer wasn’t answered, the second was.  Jesus wasn’t being selfish or faithless with the first prayer, but ultimately He recognized that the Father’s will was greater and ultimately would lead to salvation for so many. 

I prayed fervently that Bella would remain ours.  That she would find a permanent home in our loving family.  I prayed for a miracle in her paperwork.  Many of you did likewise.  Ultimately, the Father has chosen a better path.  I cannot fully see that now, but I can fully trust it.  And though my prayers for this were not answered, I can say without hesitation that it has conformed me to His will and has allowed me to connect with Him in heart-wrenching, deep, deep ways.  I still don’t know why God answers some prayers and not others.  But I do know that through my prayers, connection and conformation occur.  I guess at the end of the day, that really is my desire.  Not that He would give me everything I want, but that He would be everything I want.